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On Striving for Success…

For a large portion of my life, I felt that I had to do something BIG to be “successful” – to have “made it”. I think this stems from watching my parents succeed at business (then lose it all, then come back again, but that’s another story). I’ve come a long way since then, and thankfully that success didn’t land in my lap at a point in my life where it would have been more destructive than good.

I’ve been around the ultra wealthy, many of whom show significant signs of unhappiness and dis-ease. This is not to say that one cannot be financially wealthy and be happy – but it’s clear proof to me that money cannot make a person happy when that person does not have a foundation of happiness to build upon.

The reason for writing this today…is that I recently read a post from someone that felt as though it was coming from a place of sheer desperation. The desperation was caused by the striving for “success”, why they haven’t yet attained it… They’re trying everything, doing everything they’re supposed to do, but it still not there… Still not happening yet. Why have so many others ‘made it’ and they haven’t yet.

I could FEEL the desperation. I was able to understand where the author was coming from – I’ve felt aspects of that in my own life at times.

When you’re in that place, it’s hard to be a happy person. You are often filled with a certain amount of jealousy. You absolutely cannot be happy when someone else is successful while you’re still struggling.

In the startup space, there is a LOT of striving for success going on.

In the ‘coaching’ space, there is this sense that if you’re not STRIVING and WORKING toward your dreams, then something is broken in your life.. that you NEED something more. That your dreams have to be HUGE or they’re not worth going after.

Here’s the real issue with all the perspectives above…and this is the TRUTH:


YOU are successful because of the person you are, because of how you choose to show up in the world, both how you handle the most difficult situations of your life, as well as how you handle the greatest times…Success is the embodiment of your deepest values, made real in this world through you.

As a coach, I don’t easily classify myself into the typical categories that you hear about…life, business, lifestyle design, performance… maybe personal success is the closest match.

Still, one could at times call what I do ‘business’ coaching, in the sense that a.) it is what the client ‘needed’, but, more importantly, b.) the deeper inner transformation of the person inherently overcomes fear, while manifesting motivation, drive, creative vision, optimism, passion, hope… PURPOSE, which then makes success that much easier.

When you do the inner work on yourself, the outer world – your status, possessions, material things, all that… becomes irrelevant. Your inner work is what makes you whole.

There is a sense of BECOMING, a sense of BEING, right NOW…not STRIVING, but embodying…

The irony is that the less you STRIVE for the status, possessions, material things, all that… the more it seems to be ‘attracted’ to you. This is a very logical result, if you ask me. You simply become a happier person, which becomes attractive. You are able to truly appreciate the success of others, which others can appreciate. Your sincerity and authenticity draws cooperation from others…in person-to-person businesses, for example, this results in strong relationships, repeat clients, referrals… it’s easy to see the impact.

SUCCESS is not trying to get THERE, but is instead BEING THERE NOW

So no matter what your status, where you are in life, what you have or what you don’t have…your SUCCESS is defined by the person you choose to be, right now, at this moment. Work hard when it’s called for, when you are pulled to go after your dreams, go after them.

Some of you will feel the truth in this. Others, possibly in challenging times in their lives, may find it hard to really connect with this message. For others, this may stir a reserved curiosity, possibly of wanting to experience this higher level sense of SUCCESS in your life.

What does imagining yourself as an embodiment of SUCCESS, of BEING THERE NOW, stir in you???

3 thoughts on “On Striving for Success…

  1. LED Massive

    “What does imagining yourself as an embodiment of SUCCESS, of BEING THERE NOW, stir in you?”

    As of three months back, much more comfortable. Relaxed, if you will. Definitely the emotion of LOVE and all its chemical reactions… Very good question to ponder. Thank you.

    As a comment, it is interesting to note that “Esto no existe si aquello no fuese posible (this does not exist, if that were not possible)”. As I see it, if I was unable to imagine success, my struggles could not be created. In a non-time-constrained environment (sub-conscious), there has to be that for this to exist. And the truth in “estés donde estés, serás aquello que eres (be where you be, you shall be that which you are)” is undeniable. Change what got you to where you are and instantly redirect the course of life. When you say one is unhappy struggling while observing the successful, I immediately think of the fact that if unhappy is possible, then the existence of joy is true. If the existence of joy is true, recognizing that the change is solely from the inside-out is a matter of making the switch to the other side.

    I could quote some famous authors on what success is all about, and I agree 100% with your statement “Your inner work is what makes you whole.” so, I invite all to do a thorough introspection (and honest! very honest.) identifying events where success was achieved. Invariably LOVE (caring, compassion, giving, service-minded, etc…) will be in the equation. The positive solution is only from within.

  2. Jackson Saint fort

    While I’m able to raise the funds for the best equipment and charge clients at a top tier package the monetary incentives that I wish to have won’t make me happy. My happiness stems from the smile and images that express powerful connections between others. Money can’t buy passion and creativity. Loved this post!


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